Comedy Karaoke, April 23rd 2004, M bar, Los Angeles.

Conti Wells, performer-actress-singer-improv person, has some not-so-nice words to say about her fellow entertainers. And she's a bitch to the sound guy.

After promising to "mix things up," bring something a little "sexy," and "spilling her drink" down her shirt, she gets right into "Son of a Preacher Man."

Conti's so sexy, she doesn't realize her skirt is tucked into the back of her tights - and is that toilet paper hanging out? Oops!

But instead of finding a little humility, she berates a woman in the audience for not giving her the heads up. Oh, Conti will you ever learn?

How about when you untuck that giant stain on the back of your skirt? And when you try to fix that, and it falls off? Oh, NOW you're crying! NOW you think you might be a failure who'll never reach her dreams... But who's that clapping in the back?

Why it's none other than THE William Morris! And he believes in you! He thinks you got what it takes! But how come his pants are all stained and torn, and he's blind stinking drunk?

No Conti, don't offer to sleep with him! And don't give the audience the finger. Oh, too late. Well, I'm sure everything'll work out for the best...